I had the colossal pleasure of seeing not one but ONE phenomenal movie in theaters this week. And something else that left me distractedly curious if scurvy is really as bad as they say it is and faithless in today’s screenwriting.
Bridesmaids is not a chick flick. No, it’s not....no it’s not, no it’s not, no it’s not. Yes it has its flowery moments, but that churning in your gut is what we in the human race like to call a “feeling,” It’s ok, breathe deeply, you will get through it to see another glorious day filled with joy, muscle milk, and protein powder. This “feeling” is what Jack Sparrow deems an acceptable “stirring” and if an androgynous, guyliner wearing, long braided and beaded haired Johnny Depp doesn’t exude the epitome and magnitude of raw masculinity, I’m simply clueless as to what does... (though I’d love to hear your ideas)
Sorry, but I refuse to oust the predominantly female cast of its rightful comedic credit by giving it the dreaded “chick flick” stamp. This movie should not be returned to sender. If it does not make you pee with laughter (or shit your wedding dress in the middle of the street) contact your physician immediately. These are symptoms of the rare but fatal hilarity constipation. Kristen Wiig is a seriously talented lady and a sharp comedienne and improviser. Ditto for Maya Rudolph. Also a bit refreshing to see Jon Hamm play a douche that DOESN’T get away with it via charm, demeanor, or those green...green...so very green eyes. God I want to swim in those irises.
As for Pirates, let’s stay positive. It had some BRILLIANTLY strategically placed hair on a half-naked mermaid AND you’ll experience missing Keira Knightely for the first time. Johnny Depp will probably just claim he took the role to satisfy his kids’ wishes anyway. Oh thaaaat’s how the acting process worked? I get it now. Daniel-Day Lewis’ kids must be fucking loony.
Here's to hoping this week's optimism brings subsequent sunshine with it...happy summer!
