Never Say Never Twice

Most often when I find myself sobbing at the end of a movie, it’s a result of being inexplicably moved, but surprisingly so. That being said, what was I expecting from a movie titled “Never Let Me Go”? Silly woman, trix are for kids...

TOP 10 Reasons You Should Not Shove this DVD under the leg of a crooked table but actually watch it...

10: Carey Mulligan is a brilliant, highly underrated actress. She penetrates every role she receives flawlessly, as she does here, and makes it look effortless.

9: It markets itself as a part period piece/part science fiction and does so without everyone turning out to be cyborgs in the end. Yayyy.

8: Andrew Garfield. Daaamn.

7. It’s both visually striking and aesthetically haunting. Hard to elaborate without spoiling it, so let’s just say the film was much like cast member Keira Knightley: pleasing, but eerily opaque and you just want something more to feed to it.

6. Based on Time Magazine’s book of 2005, Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, and films based on contemporary literature are boss.

5. Garfield, Andrew.

4. A stack of papers is much more effective for fixing crooked tables.

3. Keira Knightley was finally given the role she was born to play...annoying. Finally she’s the imposition, the 3^rd wheel, and not the love interest. Take that skeletor.

2. Weasley spotting! Weasley spotting! “It’s like watching a dog walk on its hind legs” Someone alert the ministry of magic Bill Weasley got lost and wandered into another movie.

1. Not altogether brilliant, but an impressive screenplay. The language definitely refrained from getting too flowery and cliché. Not that you give a damn. Shouldn’t have made this #1....

Also watched The Fighter (flawless) and The Switch (less than flawless). Have a great week!

The Hangover 1.5

Something about Zach Galifianakis makes me want to marry the man and breed thousands of Ulysses S. Grant-looking offspring...which is why another of his, Due Date, directed by Todd Philips, made this week’s cut.

Galifianakis’ performance, as always, and Philips’ road-trip-from-hell directorial notoriety make this movie the perfect dramedy. Or comra? Either way you’ll find yourself puzzled where the tears of laughter end and tears of empathy begin. “Dad, you were like a father to me...”

But don’t worry, you’ll have just enough time to breathe before you realize his breakdown regarding the recent passing of his father is actually incredibly poignant. Philips does a nice job juxtaposing the death of Ethan Tremblay’s (Galifianakis) father with the birth of Peter Highman’s (Robert Downey, Jr...and high man? hymen? really?) first child, So, while it’s not The Hangover, it is a worthwhile watch, and should hold you over until The Hangover 2. And maybe get out of the house once and awhile, go ahead, get up and take a walk, I'll wait...

If you’re like me, few things in this world bring as much satisfaction as watching Robert Downey, Jr. get angry. Then you’re in for a raging good time, pun intended. I suppose it’s his ability to take unbridled wrath, harness it, and substitute yelling and screaming with an insult that penetrates the very core of a person’s spirit. I.E. when he tells Tremblay his body will be among the thousands of carcasses of failed actors littering the streets of Los Angeles...a much more effective method, yet much more difficult to achieve. He’s evil you just hate to love, but do.

“But I heard it got really bad reviews” Can we really believe everything rated on a “tomatometer?” The 40% Rotten Tomatoes rating and its contributing critics are much like the nation’s current tomato supply: limited, and not even qualified enough for a Wendy’s.  But if you’re really that hesitant it won’t give you a laugh, a little glaucoma medicine never hurts.

-Where it went right: pretty flawless delivery by Galifianakis, Downey, Jamie Foxx, Michelle Monaghan, Juliette Lewis, and Danny McBride. Also a nice little cameo from Todd Philips himself (the guy living with Juliette Lewis)

-#1 underrated bit of dialogue: having been caught at the airport with a pipe in his carry-on, Robert Downey’s “That’s not mine. I’ve never done drugs in my life.”